October is our wedding anniversary month. I told myself I will post about it on the last day of the month. Then I realized it’s already November. I was supposed to get a vacation leave on October 31, but I didn’t. So in my mind I thought it was still the 31st. Excuses. Excuses. I know. Hun, I hope the thought still counts even if I posted it in November. First of November!
I am not going to share about the things I learned from my marriage. We’ve only been married for four wonderful years. I’ve learned a lot, I am still learning and eager to learn more. I guess I’ll share how it all began (pre-wedding).
Don’t worry I will not write a seven-part post. Promise. If I were to describe our pre-wedding relationship, one word will suffice: Whirlwind. Read: Introduced by a common friend, became a couple after a month, got engaged after another month. Yes. Whirlwind. We got married a year after.
So why did I decide to share this? I did because I always thought that to have a successful marriage, the couple has to be together for years. I am amazed with my friends who have been together for years then would get married. I always thought whirlwind romances were, well…a joke. I guess the joke’s on me. That was my biggest realization.
Being in a long relationship does not guarantee a successful marriage. In fact I think a long relationship is the result of more important factors. I realized that more than just love, a successful relationship needs one key ingredient: acceptance. Accepting someone for who he is, with all his traits, flaws, quirkiness, dreams, and fears. Acceptance also means understanding where he is coming from and adjusting to it. Acceptance means gearing up to learn more about the person. It also means being open-minded to differences. A relationship will not work if only half of the pair understands this key element. It has to be mutual. The term “mutual understanding” makes a lot of sense to me now.
I realized this one day before our wedding. That day I prayed hard, as hard as the time when I was in my lowest of low. I prayed that God will grant me the gift of wisdom and unselfishness to accept the man I will be laughing and arguing with for the rest of my life. I knew that by the time I put the ring on his finger and the priest announces our new title as a couple, there is no turning back. To this date, I thank God for granting that gift.
Every time I tell our story, I always get the same question: “How did you know he’s ‘the one’?”. I always give the same, truthful answer: I just know. Cliche, I know. But that’s the best answer I could give. I just knew. It’s all part of the grand schema of things in which we have no control. Who would’ve thought that after a failed (long) relationship, I’d be in front of the altar with a man I knew for just a couple of months?
I am blessed to be married to a man who never stops trying, who does everything for his family, who shows strength but also brave enough to admit when he needs help, who constantly supplies his moody wife and tornado of a toddler smiles and laughter.
Here’s to four wonderful years, Hun. I am ready to spend more crazy years with you. Crazy but amazing years. Who says a whirlwind romance will not work? Not me. Not anymore.