Mom at work

What I Learn From My Boss

…that’s not about work is parenting.

My boss is a couple of years older than me and she’s a mother of three kids. Every now and then, we’d talking about raising children and I find her tips very, very helpful.

I would like to share the things that I learn from her: from discipline, managing expectations, health, and education. There’s quite a lot so I’ll write about them in other entries. Let me share one on this entry.

On Managing Toy Store Visits

Recently, Lucas has a liking for a certain I’d like to call BJ. He’s the yellow triceratops in the kids’ show, Barney and friends. The last time we visited a toy store, Lucas saw BJ, grabbed it, and walked away with it. I let him carry the toy without the intention of buying it. I distracted him with another toy that I was going to buy for him, and asked Yaya to return the BJ toy back on the shelf.

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No-no: My boss said that was a no-no. It’s a violation of trust. It’s easy to distract Lucas now because he’s only 2 years old. When he gets older though, if I allow him to get a toy and plan on diversion afterwards, he’ll either expect me to buy it for him or he won’t let go of it because he will learn that sooner or later, I will distract him and take the toy away from him. The same goes for parents saying they will step out of the toy store and come back to buy it later, only to intentionally forget about it. Lines like, “Ay nakalimutan na natin bilhin yung toy” (Oh, we forgot to buy the toy), are not helpful. For a child, when their parents say they’ll return to buy the toy, they are already anticipating for it. Frequent “forgetfulness” will only breed doubt and may cause the child not to trust his/her parents anymore.

How do we manage? My boss said to set their expectations even before you enter the store. Set rules and make an agreement with your child. That way, they will not feel betrayed because they know that he/she and Mom or Dad had an agreement. For example, before going to store, tell your child that you (him/her and you) will only look, but will not buy any toy. They can touch, play with it (if allowed) but will not buy. If this agreement was made even before the parent and child came in to the store, then the parent will just remind the child about the agreement. I think this technique harnesses obedience and understanding of rules. When you do set rules, stick with them. My boss said, I can use this technique as early as now. Even if my Little Jedi does not entirely understand what I am saying, eventually he will. It’s good that discussions like this becomes part of our “malling routine” as early as now. Discipline and obedience can start at a very young age too.

This is just one of the many discussion my boss and I have. I’ll try to share every parenting tip that I get from her because I am pretty sure that we’ll be able to relate to it, one way or another.

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12 thoughts on “What I Learn From My Boss

  1. Mags we the same rules as the one suggested by your boss. Works all the time. And I think that’s one major factor that prevented us from experiencing mega tantrums in the mall. Although one thing din kasi, we intentionally did not make mall trips a family bonding thing so they’re a rare treat for the kid.

    1. Yeah, my boss said it will work nga daw. How young was Maia when you administered rules? Good for you that she’s not throwing grand tantrums. πŸ™‚

      1. Hmm probably around 2? what we do it say the rules repetitively. like – we’re just looking, not buying. (repeat 10x) you will probably sound silly but those repetitions really worked for us. maybe you can try it one time if it will work for lucas too. πŸ™‚ and yes, consistency is key too. kelangan mag cooperate tlg both parents. haha.

  2. In our household, we also set an expectation that once we are inside the mall, “bawal ang maligalig and that, bawal ang bilmoko”. She can ask us to buy any food that she likes but pagdating sa toys, ibang usapan. Ang major major problem lang paminsan is yung daddy. Hindi makatiis na hindi ibili kasi wala daw kami nun nung mga bata pa kmi. Hay.

    1. Hehe yun lang. Naku I tell Mike to be consistent with rules din. Sabi ko if set rules it’s not only for thw little boy to follow but for us to follow din. πŸ™‚

  3. haha. luke is so cute. lia is like this with balls naman! can you believe?? of course we cannot buy all the balls in town! so usually, we just let her cry if she insists on buying the ball. few minutes after, we’ll distract her with other things then her world will be all rosy and pink again πŸ˜‰

  4. It suddenly reminded me of Joaqui last Saturday. We went to Rob to buy him a high chair but one attendant gave him a toy so he kept playing with it. I immediately told him we only came there for the high chair (as if he already understands!) and that we would already return the toy to the attendant. But he started making his drama (he would act as if he was crying but without tears. Artista anak ko eh! LOL). But because I firmly said no, he could not do anything. What he did, he made his pa-cute look to his lola instead so his lola ended up buying the toy for him. πŸ˜€

  5. As much as possible we try to avoid going to the toy section in the mall, kasi parang mas nate-temp lang si Cyler sa mga toys and we didn’t want to frustrate him especially pag hindi namin binili ung toy para sa kanya. so far never pa naman nag-tantrums si Cyler ng bongga just because of toys. And also andami pa nyang toys sa bahay, hindi pa nabu-buksan, some toys are birthday and christmas gifts pa kaya there’s no need talaga to buy. So what we do is we randomly group his toys nalang into two sets or more, he plays with one for the whole month while the other toys are kept out of his sight. So everytime we change the set, parang new and fresh na ulit sa kanya. This taught him how to appreciate his toys more and also kept us from buying new toys. This technique really works on us. πŸ™‚

  6. kami naman, our rule is never buy toys inside a toy store. it works kase aki knows he can only touch. if we ever buy from a toy store, we do it secretly, without aki knowing. hahha

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