If you asked me, some six to eight years ago, if I would be a stay-at-home mom or wife, I would have probably given you the are-you-crazy-of-course-not look. That was some six to eight years ago when my career was blazing through the corporate world faster than my internet speed that time. My corporate self was so motivated, the thought of being home with kids was surreal to me.
Well, look where I am now.
Today marks my first workweek as a stay-at-home-mom. It wasn’t a forced decision. In fact, I knew the moment I saw my first born that I will sooner or later be staying at home. I knew it was the best option for us. The decision was made both by me and my husband. After the high-risk first trimester with my second baby, we couldn’t put my pregnancy at further risk by travelling for five to six hours to and from work. The stress of the corporate world may not be the most ideal situation for me and my peanut as well, given the nature of my job (I was a corporate trainer by profession). We also agreed that this is not going to be a temporary situation. With a growing boy and another one on the way, my husband and I both promised to work hard to maintain this set-up.
How do I feel about it?
I must admit, I feel relieved and nervous at the same time. Relieved that I know I can rest when I need to until labor day. I am also nervous if I can keep myself busy at home. Being a SAHM is probably one if not THE most challenging role for moms especially for those who have been out there in the corporate world where everything is somewhat anticipated. I know I have a lot of things to do and organize but I do not know where to start. I have tons of ideas and things I want to accomplish but I get overwhelmed. Today, on my first day, I ended up just staring at the computer when my Little Jedi was asleep.
I did miss work today and admittedly, I couldn’t help but check if my office email account was still working. When I found out that it was still active, I couldn’t stop myself from checking my emails. I did refrain from answering mails already since my out of office notification is already set up. More than work, I know I will miss my ride with my husband to and from work. You see, we work for the same company and for two years, we go to work and home together. These are moments when we get to talk about so many things, plans, even chismis, fight about other stuff, and agree on a lot more while traversing the traffic of C5 and Alabang. Yesterday I woke up early to make sure Mike’s baon is ready and I felt a little sad that he will be driving to work alone knowing how unforgiving the traffic is on Mondays.
I also had my baptism of fire when the Little Jedi threw a major tantrum All.Day.Long. I admit, I can handle him during weekends when my husband is here but when I am alone (because yaya has colds and I asked her not to come near the little boy for the meantime), it was chaos.
On the other hand, I feel glad that I am the one talking to him when he had his tantrums. I am glad I am starting to get to know my son a little better past weekends. I feel so proud when we hugged and kissed after the major tantrum. I am so darn happy to be with him all day. If this is how it will be like for the next few months, i’m ready to take on monster tantrums for as long as I can be with him.
One of my blessings that I took into consideration is the support group that I now have. Thanks to blogging I have met some great mom bloggers and a lot of them are SAHMs and WAHMs. In change management, it is necessary to have a support group when implementing change in the organization. The same goes for any change that one experiences in her life. The move from being a working mom to a SAHM is a HUGE change. I am so glad that when I posted about my last day at work, I had a welcome crew of SAHMs/WAHMs and I felt relieved. I know I can turn to my friends and talk to them whenever I feel uncertain about my decision. I know my support group is there.
You don’t have personal friends who are SAHMs/WAHMs? Make friends with them! The blogging community is so large that I am pretty sure you will find some who can relate to you. Check out mommy blogs and don’t be shy to ask.
My husband is also a great source of support. I am grateful that we made this decision together. I am so happy that he reassured me countless times before my last day at work that everything will be alright. I am so blessed that he knows my anxieties and helps me get through it. Heck, he even helps me look for work at home options.
A WAHM Soon
One of the things that helped me decide is my option to start a business. Again, if you ask me some six to eight years ago if I can cook or bake, you would have received a “hell no” look. That is something that has changed again. I am now passionate about baking and decorating. If you follow me on IG (mamimaggiesmusings), you would know that I have started taking orders for cakepops and cookies. It is that same passion that I would like to leverage on now that I can still bake a little and after giving birth. I know I can do wonderful things when I am passionate about it. I have proven that when I was in the corporate world and my passion was training and to teach people. I loved every minute of it as I am loving every minute I spend decorating my cookies and coming up with creative ideas.
I have also listed down other possible business options with people I trust and hopefully it will also fly. The internet also offers a myriad of work at home options should I have more time to spend. I will be reaching out to my WAHM friends soon, take time to attend WAHM workshops to build my confidence more and guide me properly as well.
I do believe in perfect timing. Kairos as they would call it in Greek. There is always an opportune time for everything. If I had it my way, I would have left the corporate world as soon as had my Little Jedi. Maybe we were not prepared yet, financially, emotionally, psychologically, during that time. I also believe that when the time is right, everything falls into place. Maybe it was the high-risk condition that paved the way for Mike and I to reconsider our options but looking at the bigger picture, we will benefit so much more if we do it now than later. Having options to work at home has also given me the courage to take this step knowing I can still help my husband financially even when I am at home. Being able to guide my son with school is another reason worth of our decision. Yes. God has a perfect time for everything. He holds the blueprint of our lives and he has proven that to me many, many times. So we courageously took the step and put our trust in Him to guide us.
Am I closing doors?
I wouldn’t want to totally close my doors to the corporate world but one thing is clear, we will work hard to keep this set up for the longest time. Mike and I believe that this is both a blessing and an opportunity given to us. There will be great adjustments for all of us but we vow to see the silver lining first before the challenges. Again, there is kairos in everything. I believe that if ever I need to go back to the corporate world, the timing is right. For now, I am focused on adjusting with the change and looking forward to the many possibilities that being a SAHM/WAHM promises.
So here I am, officially signed out from the nine to five job, but signed in for a 24/7 role. Wish me luck! :)\