Mommy musings

Recalling the Year that Was

I’d like to make a late greeting to everyone: I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and will have a great new year!

I haven’t had the chance to sit in front of the computer to type away my thoughts because admittedly and surprisingly, I have been very busy for the past three weeks. I had, what I would like to call, an early Christmas blessing because I didn’t expect to receive a lot of orders for Christmas cookies. I have also been preparing for the Little Jedi’s Christmas presentation and in the middle of it all, he caught a bug and was sick for three days.

After the last cookie order was delivered, we then had to prepare for our annual family reunion because this year, we hosted it and welcomed forty of our relatives at home. Even though I wanted to take some time off to reflect about Christmas on the 24th, I was not able to do so. After Christmas that I was able to unwind, relax, enjoy the night light and do some reflection.

I used to do this a lot, reflecting. I like going through my thoughts like flipping pages of a book, searching for a meaningful time of the day. Today I realized that I will not be skimming through my thoughts for today’s gems, but for the whole year because I haven’t opened my own book for quite a while.

As I seek for inspiration for this post through my blog, my FB account, the photos in my cellphone, I have come across on some highlights and lowlights. I purposely set the low lights aside to pave way on appreciating all the blessings that I and my family have received this year. I am not ignoring the low points in our lives because they are part of what has been and a part of my learning experience this year. Whatever those challenges are, I overcame them, will overcome them and come out as a stronger woman.

So I decide to focus on our blessings. I do this to be thankful for the year that was. I don’t want to end the year with regret, frustration and angst. I’d like to be grateful, satisfied and humbled with what we received for the year. This is what I would like my children to do for years to come.

This year I have greater respect and love for my husband. I appreciated him more as a partner, a best friend and as a father. I am grateful for the things he is doing for me and our little family. I am grateful for his patience and his love. He may not show his affection to me all the time but I know, and with my eyes closed, that he prioritizes the Lord, me, and our family. I learned this through a small experience that I must say is life-changing. Now I choose to see him at his best and not dwell too much on what he may not be but rather give my full support to him.

This year is a year of many firsts for Lucas. Of course, those are my firsts as well! We enrolled Lucas to school this year. He had his first performance in school, his first field trip, his first baon, his first best friend, his first (two) teachers, wore his first uniform, and many more. These meant that it was my first time to scout for a school, buy his first set of clothes for a performance, prepare his baon, meet his best friend and his mom, be in his first field trip, meet his teachers, choose his first uniform, etc. I couldn’t be any prouder for him and his achievements this year. Sometimes I can’t help myself but tell people how great he’s been doing in school even if the people around us can already tell. Ok, so I guess it’s also the first time for me to be a stage mom. 🙂

This year, I appreciated being a 24/7 mom for the first time. The initial reason why I had to stay at home for two months wasn’t really something we hoped for (I had a sensitive pregnancy), but it was the first time where I focused on being a mom to Lucas despite the challenge that I was facing. Even if I cannot run around the house with him, we had our “we-time” together talking about school, singing songs that he likes, coming up with games that both of us can play given my condition, and just watching him do school work or play at home. It was so different when I was spending weekends or holidays only with him for the past three years. It was definitely more satisfying. Again, despite of my condition, I was grateful for experiencing that and I was more inspired to have more of those moments with him.

This year, I felt the joy of anticipating a new member of the family again. Just like the previous blessing, Mike and I weren’t expecting to have another baby because I was diagnosed with PCOS. Although we were planning to have baby number 2 already, the diagnosis made me feel that maybe it isn’t the right time yet. At the onset of my medication, a miracle happened and we found out that I am pregnant. What a wonderful blessing! I get to feel the same old pregnancy joys and woes, and experienced a lot of new ones too. I loved the feeling of knowing my baby’s gender for the first time, and feeling his movements in my belly. I also hated the feeling of nausea, exhaustion, back pains and weird mood swings. Even until now, I am experiencing these but I am happy for the little human being growing inside me. Hey, it’s all part of it and for all of those, I am grateful.

This year we saw opportunities and grabbed them. Mike and I made some big decisions this year, one of which is deciding for me to be a SAHM/WAHM. We felt it was the opportune time and we lifted our worries and with full trust, we told the Lord, “Your will be done”. I was anxious, and scared, and excited and happy. As we grabbed this opportunity, another one started blooming and my cookie project had its debut this year. I am thankful for everyone who trusted me even if I am just starting.

This year, our marriage is stronger. Mike and I have come out as victors in all the challenges our marriage has gone through this year. There were still drama (mostly from me) but we learned to communicate better. We learned to understand better. Our marriage is far from perfect but this year, I must say that it has been excellent. I am grateful that we keep on holding on to the vows that we made in front of the altar even if we are experiencing some big disagreements.  I am grateful as a wife.

It hasn’t been easy year for me to be honest, but again, I choose to focus on our blessings. It’s only a day before the year closes. I encourage you to find your quiet time and “play back” the year that was. Focus on the best parts of your year but do not skip the not-so-good ones. Reflect on them and learn from them. Close the year with a heart full of gratitude and hope for the new year. 🙂

Advanced Happy New Year to all!

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